Monthly Archives: October 2012

“The Dance….”

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I often share this message when I share my testimony.  And as I lay awake last night, I feel as if this story is for the world to hear.  It changed my life because it showed me the depths of God’s love for me.  I believe it can change someone else’s life who questions if God loves them.

The story of “The Dance” started like this….

For many years, I was a single mom to three little ones.  I was everything to my children.  During these years, it was often that I wondered if I would ever be married again.

There is nothing like being single.  However, I don’t think that I was the average single mom.  I didn’t desire to date anyone.  I really liked being by myself.  My previous life was chaotic and at the doorstep of Hell.  So, the quietness that I now experienced, was welcome.

However, there were days where I longed to have a man tell me that I am beautiful.  Or for someone to take me out to dinner.  I wanted to go for a walk with someone, and talk about life.  I wanted to stay up late on Christmas Eve and wrap presents.  I missed companionship.

There is a sting to being single.  I felt that most at any departure.  I wanted a husband to drop me off and pick me up at the door to the church….instead of lugging a baby on my hip across the church parking lot and telling my boys to stay by my side.  I felt the sting when I left other family’s homes and I wanted someone to drive us home.  I felt the sting most when I was tired of being everything.

I had claimed Isaiah 54 over my life….the Lord had showed me early on that He was my husband….and I claimed Him as that man.

“Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame.

Don not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.

You will forget the shame of your youth

and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.

For your Maker is your husband-

The Lord Almighty is his name-

The Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;

he is called the God of all the earth.

The Lord will call you back

as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit-

a wife who married young, only to be rejected,” says your God.”

Isaiah 54: 4-6

How could I argue with this scripture?  It came to me one night when I felt the weakest.  I fell to my knees at the side of my bed with a handful of bills in my hands and my bible in the other.  “Who are you God?”  I wept.  And He showed me this.  I opened my bible up directly to this page.  I had to keep wiping tears from my eyes to be able to read the words.

When I said He was my husband, I felt like the warmest, softest blanket wrapped around me.  He, God Almighty, was my husband.  He loved me more than anyone.

Years later, I was laying in bed and I asked God to show me how much He loved me….and He showed me “The Dance….”

I saw myself in the most glorious dress my eyes had ever seen.  I sparkled and I was absolutely stunning.  I radiated, light shined all around me.  My hair was pulled back and my face was flawless.

I entered into a beautiful ballroom with windows from ceiling to floor.  Light beamed in through these intricate windows.  The room was empty.

And then there was God Almighty.  He was there to dance with me.  Just me.  No one else was there.

He was majestic and much too large to fully hold….I could not clearly see His face, and my hands could only rest right above His forearms.

He began to dance me around, faster than I had ever known.  He would twirl me and spin me and LAUGH.

It was His laughter that I will never forget.

His laughter was deep and SO FULL OF JOY!!!  He was laughing with delight in me.  I was His favorite.  He made me feel as if He could have danced with me all day.

Then a line of men showed up and they would ask God if they could “cut in”.

“NO!”   God’s voice boomed, His arm would come down between myself and each man…all the while He wouldn’t remove His eyes from mine.

Around and around we would go…..and the laughter never stopped.

For years, I have tried to describe this laughter.  I am fully convinced that if I could adequately describe this laughter, then there would be no more suicides.  People would know the jealous kind of love that He has for us.  They would know that only He can provide the love that we need.

Beloved, He is jealous for you.  

You.  

As is you are the only one He created.  

His delight is in you.  

You make Him spill over with laughter.  

You make His sides hurt from laughing.

God made such beauty out of this story in my life.  For this is how I met my husband, the greatest Man of God I have ever known.  The Lord told me that John was my husband.  At first, I acted like a child and put my fingers in my ears and made enough noise not to hear.  He told John that I was his wife, and that he was to lay his life down for me and my three children.  When John told me this, I heard the Lord again say that John was my husband…..and then the next thing that happened gave me chicken skin….

John began to laugh.

Loud and deep.  I gasped.  

My God, My God…..God had put His laughter in John’s belly.

“I will love you through John,” God said.

The laughter that I had tried to describe to people for so long was in John’s belly.

I was silent.  “What’s wrong?” John asked.

“What did you just do?”  I stumbled out.

“I laughed,”  he said.

“Do it again,” I smiled.

And I just listened.

This story never loses its power.  I cry now as I type this and marvel at His great love for us.  Don’t doubt God and the promises He has spoken to you.  He loves you…enough to dance with you.  Like you are the only one in the room.

And when you are too weak, be His little girl and let Him carry you.

Perhaps my favorite dancing feet.  Thank you Lord for Uganda.