Monthly Archives: October 2011

“One Little Baby That Changes The World….”


Many of you are well aware of a very special baby introduced on Mighty River….


He’s perfect, huh?

Ward is five months old now.  I met his momma, Kim, as I began raising funds for my first trip to Uganda with CURE International.  She had been forwarded my blog and watched the river drowning ceremony.  Many Ugandan woman are urged by the witch doctors to drown their babies in the Nile River if their child is born with hydrocephalus.  Kim read about my journey and was shocked…..

For her baby in her womb had hydrocephalus.

Kim and I met and began a friendship.  The Lord prompted me to lay hands on her belly and pray for Ward’s healing inutero.  I believed that Ward would be healed before he was born.

But God had a different plan….

Ward came earlier than expected…

Much earlier….

He was born with hydrocephalus…

And at the hands of a surgeon…

God healed Ward’s head.

When I was in Uganda, Kim sent me an email that said Ward’s head now showed a cyst on his brain that caused the hydrocephalus.  They had to wait until he was older to drain the cyst….

And that time is now.

Once again, I have knelt before Kim’s lap, this time touching Ward’s head, and not Kim’s belly.  I believe for healing of this cyst.  I love this child.

But, this is not what I wanted to do…

 I wanted Ward healed before he was born.

I want Ward’s tube that I feel on the side of his head when I hold him,

 running alongside his skull….

to be gone.

I want Ward completely healed.

I want no more doctor visits.

I want to say he is healed.

But God has a different plan….

You see,

even before Ward was born…

God had a plan for him…

and his testimony.

While Kim was pregnant with Ward, she told me with tears in her eyes, that God had given Ward to her….for me.   She believes that God uses our relationship here, stateside, for me to know how to minister to the mommas and children in Uganda.

When she originally said these words…

I thought I got it…

But now I’ve “gotten it” more.

The Lord has given me a deeper revelation of my friendship with Kim.

You see, Kim looks at me in the same way that the Ugandan mommas look at me.  (Oh Lord, help me describe this look, give me words…)  The first time I met Kim, she opened her front door and looked straight into my eyes.  She looked at me as if to say, “I’ve been waiting for you.  Please help me.”

This is the same exact way the mommas in Uganda look at me.

I cannot understand one word that they say…

But I understand their eyes.

I get it.

“I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Please help me.”

“I am scared. “

These mommas looked at me to do something.

They wanted me to pray.

They wanted me to hold their baby.

And pray for healing.

Most mommas would take their sick baby and place him in my arms….like I could just fix it.

Its the same look Kim has.

I left Uganda and I was able to walk away from the pain and reminder of curses and death and abandonment and pain.

Yet, when I see Kim…

I am reminded of their pain.

Just with her eyes.

God has used Kim to be these mommas’ voices in my life.

She reminds me of the call.

It has to be the loneliest feeling in the world to think that no one knows what you are going through.

Kim found hope that her story of a baby with hydrocephalus could change the way babies are thought of in Uganda.

She found hope that Ward’s life would save babies just like him.

And his story has.

In Uganda, I shared about Ward with mommas….how the surgery healed his head.  Their eyes would light up….as now their baby could be healthy too.

Ward’s story crossed language barriers,

and cultural barriers…

and saved babies from death.

One little life changed the world.

“For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11

I ask all of you to pray for sweet Ward tomorrow as he lays before a surgeon.

“Father God, I pray right now for Ward….thanking you for his life.  I thank you for his testimony, one that began before he was ever born.  Thank you that he has a momma and a daddy that say, “yes, Lord”.  Thank you that they desire for Ward’s life to touch many.  Lord, be the hands of the surgeon tomorrow and completely heal Ward.  I pray PEACE over this family.  May Your glory cover the earth with his story.  May Ward grow up and proclaim You as his Healer.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen”

On a side note….

I want to share this video from the prayer room at International House of Prayer in Kansas City.

Its called, “Testimony Bout Jesus”.  The singers start testifying to what God has done for them.  Its worth the watch, I promise!

I think of Kim everytime I watch it…because I know she’s got a testimony.






“The Voice That Haunts Me….”


Sometimes I will lay down in my bed at night and see a face….

And hear a voice…..

Its Anna.

Auntie…..Auntie……Auntie….”  she would call my name out.

I would sit beside her lame body and try to talk to her.  I couldn’t understand one word she would say, except, “Auntie“.

Its a sweet endearing name to someone she loves.

Those words haunt me sometimes in the middle of the night.


Anna could say it in such a way that I knew she truly needed something from me.  She would touch my earrings, my watch, my skin…


She would smile at me.

She would take one of her two pieces of precious meat and offer one to me.

It means she loves me.

We would sit on the ground together.

I remember seeing  her crawling down a pathway on the hill, dragging her lame legs through the dirt.  My eyes caught hers….she raised her arms up for me to carry her…


I knelt down onto the path with her and picked her large body up.  Too big to be a baby.  I think Anna is around 7 years old.  But she was content in my arms.

The day we left Mbarara, we were packing up our camp and I looked over at her.  I didn’t want to say goodbye.  And if I didn’t look at her, I could ignore the pain.  I didn’t want to catch her eyes…..

For I knew her voice would go away if I just ignored her.

But she would just get louder….


She was laying on the cold ground with a sheet wrapped around her naked body.


She would cry my name out as I passed each time.

I wanted to block out her voice.  I have so much love for her, but I knew that I couldn’t do anything for her.  I kept looking at her momma to help Anna, but momma was fine with me doing it.  I wanted to take Anna home.  I wanted her to be my daughter.  I wanted to bring her to a new world, a new place.  I wanted to give her warm clothes.  I wanted to hold her everyday and hear the sweetest voice say….


And now I close my eyes at night.

And hear her passionate voice cry out for me


I turn over and try to block her voice out

but I see her eyes,

looking straight into mine,


Sometimes this walk is hard.  I wonder why some days I can’t just think upon the celebration and dancing in worship to the beat of the drum in Mbarara.

Her voice is what beats my heart with His.

Its as if He has taken her voice to awaken me to His call.


That one word says….


  “I love you.”

  “Hold me.”

  “Touch me.”

 “Carry me.”

  “Who is this Jesus you talk about?”

“Why would he die for me?”

“Am I beautiful?”

“Come sit in the dirt with me.”

“Tell me you love me.”

“Tell me again about that Jesus.”

I met Anna in the dirt in Mbarara, Uganda.

I long to see her again.

I ask Him for one more chance.

And every night He answers that prayer with one word…


“When God is Silent….”


I was reading a devotion this morning by Oswald Chambers in “My Utmost For His Highest”.

The words pierced straight through to my heart….as I’ve wondered lately…

“God, I’m not hearing you….”

Yet,  I know that He is present.

At times, I’ll say, “Where are you God?”

And I hear, “I’m right here.”

He is right beside me….all the time….He never leaves.

That’s the beauty of God.

He is always near us.

I am learning to love His Silence.

It means He is about to give me a deeper revelation of Himself.

My greatest times in this journey have been the words that I have heard God say, having no doubt it is His voice….


“Darkest place in the world”

“Go to Gulu

“I’m calling you to be an Anna”

Right now in my life, I am praying through certain things that I need answered.  I’ve asked for clarity, direction….I’ve asked for a scripture, just anything.  Yet, I am not getting the answer…

But a quiet whisper, “Wait…”

Sometimes I feel like a child….”That’s it, God?  I don’t want to wait.  I want to know now.  Can’t you just part the heavens and tell me what to do about this?”

Wait….”  I hear that right in my ear.

It is the invitation to His Silence.

But I’ve found that to be very exciting…..

If you asked me what is my favorite sound in the world, I would say this..

“The silence of snow.”  I love to watch it fall.  I love to go outside and not hear the snowflakes fall.  I don’t hear anyone walking through it….Its as if the Lord has put a blanket upon the earth and tucked us in to rest.

Next on the list, would be hearing our dog settle her tongue in her mouth as she curls up to go to sleep…(I’m laughing)  What if we all did that?  She does it 3 or 4 times and finds the perfect settling in….and begins to snore shortly thereafter.  Its a sound of rest.

There are plenty of “momma” things I love to hear….Anderson laughing so hard that he falls onto the floor.  Avery walking out the door to go to school and hearing his footsteps stop from a run to a pivot….he’ll climb back up our hill and give me a hug….without either one of us saying a word.  I love to hear Ellie tell me she needs a “Tupper-warey” bowl to put her crayons in.  I’ve yet to correct her.  These are the precious sounds in my heart.

They are all quite simple sounds…..They are peaceful….

As is His Silence.

Beloved, if you aren’t hearing an answer to your prayer today….take hope.  He didn’t go anywhere…..He’s right beside you.  You are in a place where He is going to give you a deeper revelation of Himself and His love for you.

Praise Him for the silence.

Praise Him for the sounds of peace.

I leave you today with this devotion that I began my day with…

May it bless you as it did me….

God’s Silence— Then What?

When He heard that he was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was —John 11:6

Has God trusted you with His silence— a silence that has great meaning? God’s silences are actually His answers. Just think of those days of absolute silence in the home at Bethany! Is there anything comparable to those days in your life? Can God trust you like that, or are you still asking Him for a visible answer? God will give you the very blessings you ask if you refuse to go any further without them, but His silence is the sign that He is bringing you into an even more wonderful understanding of Himself. Are you mourning before God because you have not had an audible response? When you cannot hear God, you will find that He has trusted you in the most intimate way possible— with absolute silence, not a silence of despair, but one of pleasure, because He saw that you could withstand an even bigger revelation. If God has given you a silence, then praise Him— He is bringing you into the mainstream of His purposes. The actual evidence of the answer in time is simply a matter of God’s sovereignty. Time is nothing to God. For a while you may have said, “I asked God to give me bread, but He gave me a stone instead” (see Matthew 7:9). He did not give you a stone, and today you find that He gave you the “bread of life” (John 6:35).

A wonderful thing about God’s silence is that His stillness is contagious— it gets into you, causing you to become perfectly confident so that you can honestly say, “I know that God has heard me.” His silence is the very proof that He has. As long as you have the idea that God will always bless you in answer to prayer, He will do it, but He will never give you the grace of His silence. If Jesus Christ is bringing you into the understanding that prayer is for the glorifying of His Father, then He will give you the first sign of His intimacy— silence.

“I praise you Lord, for your silence.  You choose me to hear nothing right now.  You choose me to feel Your warm presence.  You choose me to trust in your silence.  Lord, match my heart to beat with Yours.  I lay my head upon Your chest and desire to hear You breathe.  Breathe on me….and hold me in Your beautiful silence.  Amen.”